Drunken Demons
by Jibbitessa
Summary: I made one last chapter because I was bored... But I promise you there won't be another one! It's Puu, this time... o.o;;
1. Default Chapter

Just for your information. I got the idea for this story when I was talking to one of my friends online, and he was drunk. So this is what popped into my head. You cannot report me because I did not copy the chat and post it here, I just wrote a story from the idea of what happened. Thank you for reading this little note. PS- I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho! Oh, and if you do not like Original Characters, DO NOT READ THIS STORY! There are 2 of my own Characters in this fic.  
  
Two people were sitting on the sidewalk, outside of a house in which a fire demon lived. One had red hair, and the other had dirty blond. Inside the house, the black haired fire demon, Hiei, was wondering around, probably bored.  
  
"I'm telling you, he's drunk. Don't go in and talk to him." Kurama said, glancing at the house every once and a while. The blond, Jibbitessa, wasn't listening though.  
  
"Why would he be drunk? I thought he was normal. I'm going to say hi." And with that she got up and walked over to the door. Kurama sighed.  
  
"Fine then, I hope he screws you." He mumbled under his breath, but Jibbitessa heard him and stuck out her tongue. She knocked on the door, and Hiei answered it.  
  
"Uhh, hello Hiei." She said. He looked drunk, as his hair was more untidy than usual, and his eyes were sort of blood shot.  
  
Hiei grinned as she walked in slowly. He closed the door behind her and walked up to her. "Hey babe." He said, as she walked a little farther away.  
  
"Hi. Umm, are you alright, Hiei? You look a little sick. Why don't you sit down and I'll. err. fix you something to eat." She said, backing away as he walked closer. Hiei merely smirked.  
  
"I'm not sick. But I have to go get some cheese to eat." He said, and with that he walked out to the kitchen. Jibbitessa sighed, and sat down on the couch. She looked around. Two lamps were broken, and there were empty bottles of Mikes Hard Lemonade scattered throughout the room. Hiei walked back in with another bottle of the stuff.  
  
"This is good. You want some?" He asked, his words slurred slightly. Jibbitessa quickly shook her head, as Hiei just drank some of it. She glared at him and he moved over closer and sat next to her. His breath was putrid, and smelled of alcohol.  
  
He leaned over closer and hugged her, and she backed away, hiding behind the arm of the couch. He smirked and moved over next to her and kissed her. She screamed, and backed away into the wall.  
  
"What happened to Atari, your koi?!" She asked. He didn't pay much attention. All he did was look up and ask who she was. Jibbitessa's eyes widened.  
  
"You. You forgot who Atari is?!" She asked, and Hiei thought for a second, then shook his head.  
  
"No, I remember now." He said and Jibbitessa sighed. She mentally contacted her friend, Atari.  
  
"~Atari? You there? Answer me! ~" She thought and her friend voice sounded in her head.  
  
"-What is it, JB? What is so important that you wake me up to hear it?-" She asked, obviously angry. Jibbitessa sighed and looked over at Hiei, sending Atari a mental image of him. Atari gasped over the link, and then glared mentally at Jibbitessa.  
  
"-And why, may I ask, is he like that?-" She asked, as Jibbitessa glared at Hiei, who was stumbling around the room.  
  
"~He, well, he. Umm. He got drunk, of course. I didn't want to say anything, but. He... ~" Jibbitessa sent Atari a mental image of what had happened since she had gotten into his house. Atari cursed a bit, and then regained her composure.  
  
"-Well, I guess nothing can be done at this moment.-"And with that, she disconnected the link and went back to sleep.  
  
Jibbitessa sighed and walked over to Hiei. She pulled the bottle out of his hand and threw it out of a window. Which was 20 floors up. She had run to the top of the building. Hiei gasped and jumped out of the window after it. Jibbitessa looked out of the window, down at a falling Hiei.  
  
"That's gonna leave a mark." She said, and then walked around the room, picking up all the full or partially full bottle she could find, smashing them and throwing them out of windows. Hiei stumbled back in and Jibbitessa smirked slightly.  
  
She picked up the last of the full bottles and walked over to Hiei. "Here, have this." She said, and smashed the bottle over his head. Hiei glared at her, and then walked over to his fridge. He glared at the fridge when he saw that it was empty. Jibbitessa laughed and then walked over to the door. She opened it and heard Kurama yelling at her.  
  
"Why're you yelling at me? What'd I do?" She asked as Kurama yelled even more.  
  
"You told Atari what was happening. You know he'd drunk!" He yelled, and Jibbitessa took a step back. She had never seen him this mad. She turned back to Hiei, who had heard what Kurama had said.  
  
"You- you told Atari-koi?" He stuttered, obviously surprised. Jibbitessa nodded slowly and he began yelling at her too. She backed up and knocked into a floor lamp, breaking it. She stumbled out of the door, and out into the street, where she fell and hit her head. Hiei strolled out after her and beganhitting her, leaving large bruises and cuts. Soon, though, a car began rolling down the street. It picked up speed, as the 2 fighting people were at the bottom of a hill. Hiei looked up just as the car hit them both.  
  
Hiei woke with a start and looked around the room. "Just a bad dream." He said wearily, and fell back to sleep. 


	2. Kurama's Turn!

Another day, about a week later, Hiei and Jibbitessa were sitting inside of Kurama's house, watching TV. It was some ningen show that Hiei thought quite amusing, something called Happy Days. He found it to be very amusing because. Well, I don't really know why.  
  
Kurama walked into the room holding a can of something. No one asked what it was. Jibbitessa, though, eyes the can suspiciously, as though something evil and deadly would pop out of it at any second. Kurama noticed where her eyes were looking and grinned.  
  
"Don't worry. I got this from Hiei house, and I decided I wanted to see what it was." He said, as he downed the entire can. Jibbitessa's eyes widened as she noticed what the can was. On the can it said Coors.  
  
"Oh no. Not again." She said slowly, as she watched Kurama go back into the kitchen and come back with another can. She glanced at Hiei and glared at him. He merely grinned and urged Kurama to drink more of it. "What are you doing?!" She asked, as Hiei gave Kurama another can.  
  
"I want to see what happens to him. I need some humor, that TV show ended 10 minutes ago." He said, as he passed a 4th can to Kurama, who was beginning to get dizzy. Jibbitessa glared once more at Hiei and then walked out of the room, to the kitchen.  
  
She found what she was looking for and walked back into the living room. "Here you go, Kurama." She said, and dumped a can out the window. Kurama didn't jump out after it, like Hiei would have done. But that could have just been because he was too drunk to do anything.  
  
Kurama collapsed on the couch, and Hiei shifted over to the other end of it. Kurama smiled slightly, and looked over to Hiei. "Hello, Hiei. How are you?" he asked, as Hiei's eyes widened. Kurama moved closer and leaned on Hiei's shoulder. "I'm tired. You gonna be my pillow." He slurred, and with that he fell asleep.  
  
"Oh my... Hiei look what you've done! Why the heck do you have to be such an alcohol addict? Hmm?" She screamed, still slightly frightened at this sudden change of events. Hiei grinned widely.  
  
"I wanted to find out if he was any different than I was. I guess he had a little too much to drink. Oh well." He said as he pushed Kurama off his shoulder and got up. "Now, if you'll excuse me. I'm going to get something to eat." And with that, he walked off to the kitchen, where Jibbitessa followed him.  
  
"Oh no you're not! Your gonna go in there and sober him up. Don't ask ME how!" She said, as Hiei was about to ask how he could possibly do that. She turned on her heal and stormed out of the kitchen, back to the living room. She sat down in a chair across the room from Kurama, glancing sadly at him every once-and-awhile.  
Hiei walked slowly back into the room. He only walked slowly, though, because he was carrying a large bucket of water. "Think this might work?" He asked, as he walked over to Kurama. Kurama opened his eyes slightly and smiled up at Hiei.  
  
"Hello. What is the bucket for?" He asked, as Hiei tilted the bucket and dumped the water out onto his head. Kurama shrieked as the cold water poured onto him. "What the heck was that for?!" He screamed, as he shook himself off. Hiei shrugged and slouched across the room.  
  
"Guess it didn't work." He said as Kurama walked out. Or rather, stumbled out, knocking into many lamps and such in the process. When he came back in, there was beer on his face. It seemed that he had dumped it into his mouth, instead of drinking it normally.  
  
"Now, who's up for a game.? Like play with the fire demon." He said, as he staggered towards Hiei. Hiei backed up against the wall.  
  
"Uhh. Kurama. Friend. Why don't we, uhh. just play a game of, err, Scramble." He said, shocked at Kurama's different attitude. Jibbitessa glanced at Hiei.  
  
"I know this isn't really the time, but it's not scramble, it's Scrabble." He glared at Jibbitessa, then looked back to Kurama, who was about 1 foot away from him.  
  
"Now, now, Hiei. This is not a time to play shy, is it?" Kurama said, as he advanced further on Hiei, putting his hand in Hiei's hair. "Come now, I don't want to. hurt you." He said, and kissed Hiei lightly. Hiei pushed him away.  
  
"That beer is messing with your mind. Get away until you have your own mind back." He said, as he backed into the door. He fumbled with the handle, and finally got the door open. He tripped over the first stair and fell into the street with a 'thud'.  
  
"Hiei, you will be mine tonight." Kurama said, and jumped onto Hiei. Hiei fought him off, and ran down the road, back to his own little house. Kurama shrugged and started to laugh. Jibbitessa looked at him nervously.  
  
"A- are you alright Kurama?" Jibbitessa asked slowly. He glanced up at me and then nodded.  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine. But that's not what Hiei thinks. I find that mortal jokes can be very funny." He said, and walked back into the house.  
  
"You mean you were faking the entire time?" Jibbitessa asked, slightly disturbed. She had always thought he was the. normal one, the voice of reason. Not a joker. Kurama started to laughed even harder, and sat down on the couch,  
  
"Of course. I wouldn't do something stupid like that. I had filled the cans earlier with some sort of fizzy drink that I found at the store. It's very good." He said, and then calmed down a bit. Jibbitessa smiled and then looked at the door.  
  
"Soda. How Hiei will be pleased to know that he was tricked by the serious one that only seems to joke when forced to." She said, and then looked up at Kurama. "You were kinda funny though." She said, and then sat down to take a nap. That had been a long and very funny night.  
  
Hope you like this one! I couldn't even slightly think that Kurama would do something stupid like getting drunk, so I turned it more comical! Hope y'all liked it! R & R please, if you want another chapter! 


	3. Drunken Ningen Yuusuke's turn

Here's another 'episode' of Drunken Demons. Though now, it isn't a demon. It's a mortal human. namely Yuusuke Urameshi! Heheheh. I couldn't think of another demon that would work. If you have any ideas for a demon to use, tell me via e-mail or review! Thanks to those of you who have read these so far. I hope you enjoy this one!  
  
Yuusuke sat on his couch, watching TV. It was some stupid commercial, so he got up to get a drink. He ran into Hiei in the kitchen. "Here, have a drink, Detective." He said, smirking. Yuusuke looked at him suspiciously, but then turned and walked out of the room with the drink.  
  
A knock was heard at the door and Hiei motioned to Yuusuke to stay and that he would get it. Yuusuke looked at him suspiciously, but didn't move. Hiei grinned and went to get the door. It was Atari, Jibbitessa, and Kuwabara. Hiei motioned them inside.  
  
"Hiei, what are you doing here?" Jibbitessa asked slowly, though Atari didn't seem to mind. Hiei shook his head and walked back to the living room, where Yuusuke was drinking the drink Hiei had given him slowly. He waved to the group of people as they walked in.  
  
"Hey guys!" Yuusuke said as they all chose different seats around the room. Hiei remained standing by the kitchen door, Kuwabara took a seat nearest the TV, Atari took the chair nearest Hiei, and Jibbitessa sat down next to Yuusuke.  
  
"How're you doing Yuu?" Jibbitessa asked, eyeing Hiei curiously. Yuusuke laughed and said he was fine. He finished his drink and started to get up to get another one, but Hiei was already in the kitchen and back before Yuusuke made it to the other side of the couch.  
  
"Uhhh. Thanks Hiei, I guess." He slowly took the drink form Hiei and sat back down to Hiei's 'No problem, detective.' Jibbitessa eyed the cup Yuusuke was holding then looked around to where everyone else was. Kuwabara had put in a movie, Lord of the Rings by the look of it.  
  
Yuusuke smirked. "I'm surprised he didn't put in some NC 17 movie." He mumbled under his breath to Jibbitessa, who laughed and then told Atari what he had said, and she laughed as well. Yuusuke downed the rest of his drink quickly, then dropped the can and looked up at Hiei, who nodded and ran out and back in about 10 seconds. He handed Yuusuke another cup.  
  
Yuusuke drank it whole heartedly without even thinking, and Jibbitessa glared at Hiei. "Oh no. Hiei, what are you thinking. First you tried for Kurama, but now Yuu?" Hiei laughed at her 'pet name' for Yuusuke, but nodded.  
  
"Yes, and it looks like it works quicker for him than demons." He said, laughing. Jibbitessa glared at Hiei again, then turned to Yuusuke.  
  
"Come on, snap out of it!" She shouted in his ear. Yuusuke turned his now blood shot eyes to her.  
  
"Hiya girl. How ya doin'?" He asked, his words slightly slurred. Jibbitessa gave him a slightly disgusted smile and answered that she was fine. Yuusuke grinned, and slung an arm over her shoulder. He kissed her on the cheek and laughed weakly. She gave him a disgusted look.  
  
"Don't kiss me like that. You're not your self." She said, and slapped him. He seemed to come slightly to his senses and apologized. He then looked around and at Hiei.  
  
"Hiei, you stupid three eyed demon. You're gonna pay for that!" he said, and jumped up off the couch. Jibbitessa backed up slightly so he could get past. Yuusuke flung himself at Hiei, who quickly moved aside and Yuusuke landed on the floor. Hiei laughed, but Jibbitessa scowled at him.  
  
"Hiei, next time you're gonna pay for tampering with peoples minds." She said, and with that she stormed out of the room, into the kitchen to see if she could find what Hiei had been giving Yuu. She found it in the fridge (duh) and pulled out 2 bottles of the alcohol Hiei had given him. She smirked and walked back into the living room.  
  
"Hey, Hiei! Catch!" She yelled, and tossed him a bottle. Hiei caught it, and it broke in his grip, spilling the stuff all over himself. Everyone laughed, and Kuwabara yelled at them to shut up. Everyone stared at him for a moment, they had forgotten he was there. Then they went back to laughing at Hiei.  
  
Hiei growled at them, and then went to get changed. He jumped out of the window, and left to go to his house. Yuusuke laughed harder, and then Jibbitessa glared slightly and smashed the bottle over his head.  
  
"Hey!!!" Yuusuke yelled, but then joined in with everyone laughing.  
  
"That's what you get. Maybe next time you'll be smart, and not except a drink from the alcoholic demon." She said, and sat back down on the couch.  
  
.You didn't like it did you? Oh well. I need an idea for another demon, if I don't get one, I'll have to use Kuwabara. *shivers* That would be horrible. So, tell me who would be a good demon to get drunk! Thanks to any one reviews.! See ya in the next chappy! 


	4. Double Drunkenness

Sorry for all the wait. I wanted to see if two people wanted the same person, but everyone said someone different. I got 3 reviews and 4 ideas. So I'll have at least 3 more chapters ready to write. Thanks to WildChild, she was the first to give me an idea for someone to get drunk, so I'll use her idea. Here comes Keiko!  
  
Yuusuke was walking down the street, towards Keiko's house. It was her birthday party, so Yuusuke was carrying a gift. Hiei hopped down from a tree and landed next to Yuusuke. "Well, if it isn't my favorite three eyed demon." Yuusuke said, and kept walking. Hiei walked right along beside him, oddly enough, he also had a present for Keiko.  
  
"Hello, detective." Hiei said, Yuusuke glanced at Hiei's gift, it rattled and clanked. Sounded like.  
  
"Oh no Hiei. You didn't." Yuusuke said, rolling his eyes. Hiei smirked but didn't say a word. "You really have to give up your obsession, you know that?" He said, Hiei merely gave an evil grin and ran off ahead to Keiko's house.  
  
When Yuusuke arrived, just about everyone was there already. All except Kuwabara. But Yuusuke had passed him on the way, and he had a large present. It would take him a while to get there; he was having trouble walking under the weight.  
  
"Hi Yuusuke!" Keiko shouted and ran over to hug him. Yuusuke let her, though he seriously did not look like he was enjoying it very much. Keiko let go and grinned widely at Yuusuke, who smiled politely back.  
  
"Hi Keiko." He said, and glanced around the room again. Kuwabara had arrived, and was now trying desperately to put the present on the table. "Uhh, why don't you let me help Kuwabara? He looks like he's having a bit of trouble with your gift." Yuusuke grinned and walked over to Kuwabara.  
  
"Hey Urameshi! Help me with this!" He said, and Yuusuke helped him lift it onto the table.  
  
"What'd you get her, Kuwabara? A house?" Yuusuke asked, and Kuwabara glared at him and walked away. "Wow, was I right?" He asked himself, and walked over to Hiei's present.  
  
"Hiei appeared next to Yuusuke and looked at him. "Trying to figure out what I got her, detective?" He asked. Yuusuke looked at him and shrugged. He knew what it was, even if Hiei denied it. Keiko grinned and shouted at everyone to gather around.  
  
"Let's see. Ooh, I think I'll open this one first." She said, pointing at Kuwabara's present. Yuusuke groaned and got up to help get the present to Keiko, he didn't feel like having to rescue anyone because Kuwabara lost control of it.  
Once they had gotten it in front of Keiko, she smiled and looked at the card. It had a picture of Kuwabara on the front and he was holding a cake behind his back. Keiko opened the card and a pie (very small one mind you) flung out to hit Keiko in the face. Keiko started laughing along with everyone else, and put the card down.  
  
"Nice card, Kuwabara. Very original." She said, and looked at the present. "Wow. A bit big, Kuwabara?" She asked, and started tearing the paper off. She got about half of it off, the gasped. "Wow, Kuwabara! A doll house!" She jumped up and tore the rest of the paper off. Kuwabara blushed slightly*  
  
"Yeah. I made it myself, so don't mind if it. uhh. is a bit unstable." He said, and walked over to the snack table. Yuusuke grinned.  
  
"I was right, it was a house!" He shouted, and went to go rub it in on Kuwabara. Keiko laughed and looked around. She spotted Hiei's and reached for it. There was no card, so she just went to opening it.  
  
"Uhh, thanks Hiei. How nice, soda." She smiled slightly a put it down, Hiei ran over to Yuusuke to yell at him. After about 10 minutes of yelling, Hiei walked slowly back and put the soda in the fridge. Keiko smiled and said thanks, and looked at the rest of the presents.  
  
"Hey, Keiko! Open mine!" Yuusuke shouted, and walked back over to watch. Keiko nodded and picked his up. The card had a picture of Yuusuke giving the peace sign on it, and inside it said.: 'Happy birthday, from your favorite friend!' Keiko smiled and looked at the present.  
  
"I wonder what it is." She said, and proceeded to tear off the paper. When all the paper was gone she gasped, and then laughed. It was a 2 foot tall model of Yuusuke. "Yuusuke, you're a bit too obsessed with yourself." She said, and put it in the pile of everything else. After about 20 minutes, she had finished opening presents, and gone into the kitchen to get a drink. Se walked back in holding a soda can, and looked a little bleary eyed.  
  
"Now what do we do. Oh, I know! Let's play Twister!" She said, and with that proceeded to pull out a game from the closet. Everyone except Kuwabara joined in the game. Keiko was the spinner. Keiko had drank about 3 more soda's, which was odd for her, since she usually didn't drink any more than one can of soda a day.  
  
"Uhh, Yuusuke, right foot green." She said, and giggled. Kuwabara turned around and looked at the board.  
  
"Actually, Urameshi has to go to left hand yellow." He said, and turned back around to watch the movie. Keiko nodded and said that Kuwabara must be right. Yuusuke did so, and then fell over, on top of Botan and Hiei. Hiei sped away from the game and Botan merely yelled at Yuusuke. He rubbed the back of his neck and walked over to sit next to Keiko.  
  
"Geez, some people. Hey Keiko, what's wrong?" He asked, as he saw the look on her face. It was slightly crest fallen, yet happy. Keiko giggled madly and hugged Yuusuke, who backed up slightly.  
  
"I love you, Yuusuke." She said, and leaned her head on his chest. He grinned slightly and pushed her off. "What's wrong Yuusuke?" She asked, and followed him out of the room.  
  
"Nothing, Keiko. Nothing at all. Your just scaring me a little." He said, and shifted nervously. Keiko grinned and walked up to him as a black flash could be seen for a split second, then vanished.  
  
"But Yuusuke, don't you like me?" She said, and stepped directly in front of him. He nodded and backed in to the wall. Keiko grinned and kissed him. He fell over sideways (he was against a wall, he couldn't fall backwards!) and landed on a bucket containing soup.  
  
Keiko grinned and sat on his stomach. She leaned forwards and licked the soup off his face. Yuusuke gave a disgusted looked a slipped out from underneath her. She laughed slightly and followed him back to the living room. He glared at her and jumped over the couch and landed next the Kuwabara.  
  
"A little help here?" He asked and then jumped away again as Keiko flung herself at him. She grabbed his leg and he tripped and fell over. Keiko laughed insanely and began kissing him again. Yuusuke grimaced and just sat there. Keiko eventually got worn out and rolled over off him. He sighed and got up.  
  
"Well, I think I'll leave now." He said and walked for the door. Botan stepped in his way.  
  
"Oh no you don't, cutie." She said and grinned evilly. Yuusuke glared over at where Hiei was standing, and then noted an empty soda can in Botan's hand. Botan smiled and fell onto Yuusuke who, fell back and looked up at her.  
  
"Uhh, Botan, are you alright?" He asked, and backed p as she moved closer.  
  
"Just fine, Yuusuke. Though you might not be after I'm finished." She said, and placed one foot on his chest. He just stared at it and stopped moving. Botan grinned and walked over above him, and sat down on his chest. Yuusuke turned away and glared again at Hiei, who just stood there and laughed.  
  
"I'm gonna kill you, you stupid demon!" He said, and went to say something else, but his words were cut off by Botan's fist. Botan giggled madly and got up and stepped back. Yuusuke spit out a tooth and glared at her.  
  
"You've gone mad, Botan!" he shouted, and she sat down next to him and started playing with his hair. He grimaced again and just stared at the wall. Botan suddenly toppled over and threw up all over the floor. Hiei grimaced this time and shook his head.  
  
"I guess females can't hold it in." he said, and motioned to a small grayish green puddle near an unconscious Keiko.  
  
"Great, now what? Hiei, you are such a kiisama!" he said, and got up to leave. Hiei merely grinned again, and started to clean up the mess. Yuusuke stormed out of the house and down the street. He would never look at Hiei again, if it meant not seeing his friends.  
  
"Stupid demon. needs a psychiatrist. should learn to be obsessed with something else. I mean, why not be obsessed with something less dangerous, like cake or sugar. Wait bad idea. Hiei's scary enough as it is. Don't need him to be sugar high, too." Yuusuke continued on mumbling until he reached home, where he collapsed on the bed and fell straight asleep.  
  
How'd ya like it? I thought it was a bit long. I ran out of idea for how they should act, so I just put this. It isn't as funny as I would have liked but. Oh, the translation for kiisama is bastard. I like the word Kiisama better than saying straight out bastard, so I put that instead. Well, I also Thank Darkflame (I think that's it.) for her ideas and reviews. Review and I'll give you another chapter! 


	5. Drunken baby

.Unless you couldn't tell from the title, you should know who's the next Hiei's gonna trick. that's right, Koenma! Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Namely Darkflame, she was the only one who reviewed my last chappie. She's reviewed all my chapters since the start. I hope all you guys like my next one. It might be a bit lame, since I've run out of ideas. Enjoy!  
  
'This is the day.' Hiei thought to himself. 'The day I'll get him. I wonder how he'll react when he finds out.' He mused. He passed by security with out single remark, which the guards found strange. he usually passed many snide remarks.  
  
"Hello, Hiei." Hiei was greeted by Kurama, who was now working for Koenma. Hiei merely nodded and kept walking. "Hiei is something wrong?" he asked, and Hiei didn't say a word. Kurama's eyes widened and he jumped in front of Hiei.  
  
"Get out of my way, Kurama. I have business to attend to." He said, and with that shoved past Kurama and into Keonma's office. Koenma looked up from the papers on his desk and sat back.  
  
"What is it, Hiei?" he asked, and Hiei smirked slightly.  
  
"I just thought you could use a break. Away from all this work. I'm sure your father would think the same." Hiei said, walking up to his desk. When he reached it he pulled out a large bottle with some unknown liquid in it (AN-only unknown to Koenma and Ogre. not to us and Hiei...^_^) Koenam took it suspiciously, and looked in it.  
  
"What is this Hiei?" He asked, and Hiei put on a fake look of being hurt.  
  
"What? Do you think I'm trying to poison you or something?" he asked, and walked around behind the desk, urging Koenma to drink it. "You'll like it, trust me." He said, and Koenma eyes him suspiciously, but drank it anyway.  
  
"Mmm, this is good, Hiei. What is it?" Hiei smirked and walked back to the other side of the desk.  
  
"That, sir, is one of the many fine drinks that the ningen's have created." He bowed, and backed up to the door. "May you have a wonderful day, Koenma." And with that, he left.  
  
"Hiei, tell him. He has to know what that is." Kurama said as Hiei passed. Hiei stopped and looked at Kurama.  
  
"He will know soon enough. The old fool should have seen it coming, if he's been watching me this whole time." And with that, he walked by and left the large building. Kurama sighed and walked into the room to find a hiccupping Koenma.  
  
"Oh no. Master Koenma, you didn't drink that stuff Hiei gave you, did you?" he asked, though he already knew the answer.  
  
"Of course I *hic* I drank it. It *hic* was deli *hic* delicious." He said, and fell out of his chair. Ogre rushed to get him up, and placed him on the table. Koenma looked over at Ogre and smiled.  
  
"Thank you *hic* Ogre. You know *hic* what? I have never *hic* noticed this before. *hic* but you have the most beautiful eyes." he said, and leaned onto Ogre. Ogre nodded slowly, and patted him on the back.  
  
"All.alright sir." Ogre said, and backed up a little. Koenma followed and latched onto him. Ogre's eyes widened, but he didn't move. Koenma stared into his eyes, and smiled again.  
  
"I love you, Ogre." He said, and kissed him lightly on the lips. Ogre's eyes widened even more and he threw Koenma backwards. He hit the wall and fell to the ground. Ogre's eyes almost fell out at how wide they were.  
  
He had just thrown Koenma! The leader and emperor of the entire demon world! Oh man was he gonna get fired. "Uhh, Koenma sir? Are you alright?" ogre asked, and inched towards him. Koenma's eyes shot open and he glares at Ogre.  
  
"Ogre, how many times have I told you not to throw me," he asked, and his voice suddenly faltered, "If you're not going to continue?" Ogre looked astonished and shook his head.  
  
"N- Never, sir." He stuttered and lifted and beaming Koenma up off the ground. Ogre threw him into the air and caught him again. Koenma, upon reaching Ogre's arms, latched on again and started kissing Ogre again. Ogre pushed him away slightly and Koenma whined.  
  
"Oh, Ogre. I love you. Don't take me away." Ogre merely stood there, looking at Kurama for help. Kurama just stood there and shook his head.  
  
"It is your problem now, Ogre. You did not stop Koenma from drinking the liquid, so now you must live through this." Ogre sighed and looked down at a love struck Koenma.  
  
"How do I get myself into these messes?" He asked himself, and sat in a chair near Koenma's. Koenma gurgled (?) and lay on Ores lap.  
  
"I love you Ogre." He said, and fell asleep. Ogre gently lifted him off his lap and placed him in a crib by his desk.  
  
"How much of the liquid that Hiei gave him did he drink?" Kurama asked slowly, Ogre looked at the bottle and his eyes widened.  
  
"A- all of it.." he said, and then looked at the door, where Hiei had just appeared.  
  
"He is going to have one major hangover when he wakes up." Hiei said, and strolled out of the room.  
  
"Was he there the entire time" Ogre asked slowly, and Kurama shrugged.  
  
"I guess." he said, and went over to tend the to the now sleeping baby emperor.  
  
How did you guys like it? I though it was okay. I have something to say to anyone who's also watched Cyborg 009. WHAT IS IT WITH BABY'S??? AND WHAT IS IT WITH PACIFIERS??? BOTH 001 AND KOENMA ARE BABYS W/ PACIFIERS!!! IT'S FREAKY!!! Okay, I am finished now. heheh.. Stay tuned for the next chapter! Oh, and ningen means mortal or human. 


	6. Last Chapter

Okay, this chapter is the last chapter for drunken demons, so I'd just like to thank everyone who reviewed. I didn't get a single bad review! Yay! Well, here is the last chapter, so enjoy!  
  
The whole Urameshi team walked to the battle field. They had to fight the team that Jin was on. Everyone glanced at Hiei, knowing what he would most likely do. I mean, come on, just look at the guy's name, Jin I mean. Hiei was sure to trick him somehow. How, they didn't know.  
  
"Hiei, why do you look so smug?" Kurama asked uneasily, knowing he knew the answer already. Hiei smirked up at Kurama.  
  
"No reason you can't guess." Hiei said, and they entered the arena. Many shots of 'kill Yuusuke' could be heard, but the Urameshi Team was used to that, so they just stood there. Hiei smirked even wider as the other team walked out, and two of them were carrying the red haired Irish fighter, who was going on about how his team mates were all so gorgeous that he couldn't resist. Yuusuke shook his head.  
  
"I can't believe you, Hiei. How do you get -him- to be drunk?" Yuusuke asked, looking back and forth from Hiei and Jin. Hiei grinned his own little evil grin and looked up at Yuusuke.  
  
"I snuck into their room earlier today, and switched all his drink with alcohol. He must not have noticed." Jin, from across the field, had started hitting on his team leader, who was getting annoyed. Jin looked up from the demon below him to see Hiei. His eyes widened and he jumped up and ran over to the Urameshi side of the field.  
  
"Whoa, hey Irish, go back to you own side!" Kuwabara shouted, then bent over double with laughter. Jin had started hitting on Hiei.  
  
"You are quite handsome, Hiei. I don't understand why my team members hate you so much. They must be jealous of your wonderful looks." Hiei's eyes widened as Jin kissed him full on the mouth. Hiei shoved him off and backed up, spitting. Jin looked sadly at Hiei. "Why do you leave me, lad. I won't hurt you, unlike my team mates." Jin grinned a really stupid grin and walked back up to Hiei who backed up into the wall.  
  
"Get away form me, Jin." Hiei said, and pushed Jin back. Jin, though, wouldn't take no for an answer and pushed Hiei out of the field area, to where the hall was. Jin smirked as he got Hiei alone and away from the rest of the teams. The announcer lady could be heard form the arena.  
  
"Well, I guess since two members of this fight have left, we will have to postpone the match. Umm, well, bye?" She was saying, her tail swaying nervously. Both teams agreed and left the field. Yuusuke, Kuwabara, Genkai, and Kurama passed the room where Jin was, and didn't even look in, not wanting to know why there were strange noises coming from the room. "Well, Hiei, now I can show you my true feelings." Jin said, and sat over Hiei, grinning like a madman. Hiei's eyes widened, and he flung Jin to the side and jumped up. Jin hit the wall with a sickening crack, and he looked dazed. Hiei shrugged and walked out of the room, leaving the red headed demon to his own problems.  
  
"Hiei, I am not out yet." Jin's voice sounded from the room. Hiei whirled around to stare at Jin, who was standing, though a bit lopsided, perfectly fine. Jin walked over to Hiei and kissed him passionately on the lips. Hiei gagged and punched Jin away. Just then, Yuusuke jumped out from behind a door and brought a large bucket of water down on Jin head. Jin collapses to the floor on top of Hiei, who had slumped down there after Jin kissed him.  
  
Jin looked up dazed, and then looked down at Hiei and jumped. Hiei glared up at him and walked away. Jin stood there, staring after Hiei as the rest of his team walked up.  
  
"What the heck happened?" Jin asked, as the team leader led him back to their room.  
  
"You'll find out some other time, my friend. Right now you just need to rest." And with that he pushed Jin onto the bed, and walked away. Jin just lay there staring at the ceiling, wishing he knew what he had done.  
  
Well? Whad'ya think? I hope it was good, since it's the last 'episode'. Well, thanks to all those reviewers out there, and see ya later! 


	7. Spirit Beast Molestation

Yep, that's right; I decided to make another chapter... I was watching TV when I got the idea for this one... Hope you like it!  
  
Yuusuke sighed, walking down the road, the annoying penguin sitting on his head contentedly.  
  
"Hey Yuusuke!" A girl shouted, chasing after him. He paused and looked back, seeing his friend JB.  
  
"Hi JB." he said. JB grinned, then glanced up at Puu, who seemed to be wobbling unsteadily.  
  
"What's up with Puu?" She asked. Puu fell off Yuusuke's head and JB caught him quickly.  
  
"Hiei happened to him." JB blinked at him.  
  
"So, now there's a drunk... Penguin, to look out for? What's the worst he could do?" Puu suddenly 'puu'ed and fluttered back onto Yuusuke's head, rocking back and forth slightly, bouncing a little also. Yuusuke blinked a couple times, then he nearly fell over.  
  
"Ew, Puu, get off my head!" He shouted, waving his arms frantically.  
  
"What's wrong?" JB asked slowly, almost not wanting to know.  
  
"Agh! He's humping my head! He's gonna turn into Karasu and rape my hair!" Yuusuke said; his eyes closed in a disgusted face, trying to force Puu off his head. JB couldn't help but laugh. She and her friend were just thinking about Puu doing something like that a few days ago.  
  
"Puuuu!" Puu said, in an odd sounding voice. As odd as this sounds, the 'puu' was slightly slurred and sounded... sensual. Yuusuke tried harder to get the blue Spirit Beast of his head. JB laughed harder.  
  
"JB, get it off me!" He shouted. JB stopped laughing long enough the grab Puu's ears/wings and pull as hard as she could. Eventually Puu fell off, landing on JB's face. She sweatdropped.  
  
"Oh great..." She muttered in a voice muffled by the small blue penguin- like thing. Now it was Yuusuke's turn to laugh. Puu sidled off her face, sitting on her forehead looking at Yuusuke. He wobbled, then flew back over and sat on Yuusuke's head.  
  
"Not again..." He groaned, looking up at the now rocking Puu. "This is so embarrassing. My head is being molested by a penguin..."  
  
"Tell me if you have any furry blue Puu's as children!" JB said, grinning. Yuusuke frowned slightly at her.  
  
"Oh aren't you nice..." He muttered at JB, again trying to get Puu off. He even tried ducking his under the water of a nearby duck pond. It didn't work... Puu continued humping his head, 'puu'ing happily.  
  
"Gomen nasai, Yuu-koi, but this is just too funny..." She answered him, hiding her mouth with her hand to try to stop the flow of giggles.  
  
"Well I don't find it funny!"  
  
"Maybe next time you feed that thing, you should check what you're giving it." Said a familiar voice from behind him. Yuusuke turned around to see Hiei smirking at him.  
  
"I didn't give Puu anything to drink, you did." Yuusuke said, glaring slightly. Hiei shrugged, disappearing from view. "Argh, how long is this gonna take? How long does it take for alcohol to get through a thing this size's system?" JB thought on that question for a second.  
  
"Well, I can't remember what my book said about that, but it will take longer depending on how much he drank..." She paused, thinking. "But the effects started sooner because Puu's small, so they should wear off sooner... I think..." She tried to remember what her book, "Alcoholism, It's Causes and Cure", had said.  
  
"You think?!" Yuusuke asked, exasperated. "Oh great, so he'll either be sober soon, or he'll stay drunk for an hour?" Yuusuke sat down heavily on the ground, glaring at a rock in front of him. "Greeeaaaat..." JB sat down next to him, being sure to stay clear of Puu's movements.  
  
"Don't worry, it'll be over eventually..." Just then Puu shouted, tensing up, and then fell backwards off Yuusuke's head, breathing hard, each out breath sounding like a quiet 'puu'. Yuusuke sweatdropped, glancing up at his hair to make sure it wasn't white.  
  
"Oh, don't I feel special. My inner self just molested my hair..." He muttered. JB laughed again, and this time Yuusuke whacked her, shutting her up for the time being. JB handed him some hair gel, and walked away laughing her head off.  
  
That was awesome! I thought that chapter was funny! XD It was also really demented, but... Hey, what story by a demented writer isn't demented? *Puu walks out from behind a door and hops on her head* *nearly screams* AAAGGGHHH! It's the Michael Jackson penguin! *knocks Puu off her head and runs away, Yuusuke also walking out from behind the door, laughing slightly.* Yuusuke~ that's what you get... *grins and waves goodbye to everyone* Wait! OMG, wait! That book that is mentioned is a real book that I do not own! Just had to mention that.. ^^;;; Okay, now you can review... 


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